Life hasn't been all that smooth sailing for me this sem. Like i've mentioned before, i've lost my focus. Been feeling the pressure recently and it's getting worst as each sem goes by. Modules are harder to understand & once you lag, you can't catch up. And because of this immense pressure, i hvnt been a good project mate. My contribution was zilch and i'm very agitated and upset with myself. Maybe it's because of my core modules which led me to neglect my elective. But i'm really lucky to have friends who are very understanding and didn't blame me at all for not contributing. Nevertheless, i still feel remorse abt it & i sincerely apologise for my behaviour. Time for me to buck up! And i really need to learn how to relax abit!

On a side note, i dunno whether i should be happy or disappointed. I think my dream of going for an overseas attachment, in Germany, is over. One of my friends receive an email indicating that his application was successful, while i received nothing. The reason in me thinking that i wasn't chosen is because the email was mass sent to other people who were successful in their application as well. If i were successful, i should receive an email too right? Not having too much hopes right now, but am praying for a miracle that they would be sending another email.

Along with my application for overseas attachment, i had to apply for local attachment too, one interviewing company, while the rest are non-interviewing. Manage to get an interview with the interviewing company which i chose, Exxon Mobil. Was damn excited when i received the email abt it, but was also very nervous and worried since i never really go through a real interview before. Prepared quite alot, reading up on the company and going through the possible questions which might come up & how i would answer them as well as asking from one of my senior regarding how the interview was like since she had her IA there.

The day came and i went for it. The waiting part was damn nerve wrecking since you don't know who is going to interview you and what sort of questions he will ask. In addition, i think i was one of the first on the list of interviews that were going to be held that day, which meant that i couldn't really have the chance of asking those who went in earlier. The interviewer came and to my surprise, he was really friendly. The whole interview lasted for 20mins or so and it was really informal. That was really lucky of me i must say. As we talked, my nervousness was gone and we were having more of a "chit chat" session rather than an interview. All in all, it went pretty well but chances were really slim since he would only be choosing 1 person out of 8, as an intern under him.

The day after i got news from my friend regarding his successful application for overseas IA, an email came and it said that i was accepted as an intern in Exxon Mobil. I was really surprise and happy since the night before i was kind of disappointed with the fact that i received no email regarding my overseas IA. As you can see, both meant quite alot to me, which is why i dunno whether i should feel more happy or more disappointed.

Honestly, i would prefer to be chosen for overseas attachment since it would be a good experience for me, to be able to live and work overseas as well as do abit of travelling in Europe. Learning how to be independent is also something which will be beneficial to me. However, being accepted by Exxon Mobil really came as a surprise since i wasn't placing too much hopes on it. Being able to work in such a recognised company is definitely something which will be beneficial to me as well. And if i'm lucky, i might be able to get a job there after i graduate, provided that i perform well during my IA, which would definitely be a good place to start. Oh and the pay is really good man, considering that i'm only an intern.

Sigh, i think more or less i won't be able to go Germany for attachment le though i'm still praying for a miracle to happen. Looking on the bright side, at least i got through to Exxon, which many people would wanna go to as well. Oh well let's see how it goes. For now, it's time to sleep. Nite!

Sunday, October 07, 2007