.the Oscar goes to....

She brought me to my boiling point yesterday.
I cannot take it anymore.

She pissed me off, like totally.
Her temper is really like a rollercoaster,
Making a turn at the most unpredictable moment.
Her flaring up makes me feel bad all the time, though it may not be my fault.
She thinks she's right all the time.
She thinks she is the only one who has a temper.
She thinks she is the only one who is allowed to flare up.
She thinks she is the biggest when she flares up and
Everybody needs to give in to her.
She wants everybody to accomodate to her.
She has a heart of gold, but her temper and character just totally make her a sick person.
She's two faced.
She's really good with her acts.

I tried my best to be patient and take it all in.
But it is really hard and
I really can't take it anymore.
I really HATE her sometimes.
The only reason why I am giving her respect,
Is for all the things she has done for the family.
Her care and concern.
But the way she presented her care and concern,
Is really very wrong.
It pisses people off instead of making people appreciate it.
If I had a choice,
I would rather stay away from home,
Then face her at all.

And the worst thing of all
Is the mask when she puts on
In front of other people
It really disgusts me.
How can a person be so fake?
Trying so hard to be such a nice person,
In front of others,
When in fact, she's a devil in disguise.

I really don't wish to HATE her that much,
But every now and then,
She's making my HATE Gauge of her increase.
For now, I will tolerate everything.
But don't blame me,
If one day,
I do
EXPLODE!

3:08 PM

Sunday, April 27, 2008

.lonely times.

Went to catch a movie by myself today. It wasn't that bad an experience as i thought it would be. Saw a few people catching the movie all by themselves as well, which made me feel better. Always thought that watching a movie all alone is quite a pathetic thing, but i guess i was stereotyping. Won't mind doing again and believe there would be many chances for me to do so.

In a blink of an eye, my IA is coming to an end soon, another 1 1/2 more months to go. Honestly, i haven't been doing much, but definitely did learn some stuff from work. I think i'm quite useless there and i'm really a useless person in fact. Though many people keep telling me that we are just interns, so it really is normal to have not much stuff to do, I just don't feel good about not doing anything. Don't think i will get a good grade for my IA since i think neither my supervisor nor professor has a good impression of me. I think getting employed back after graduation is just a dream which is not gonna take place in reality.

12:55 AM

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

.360.

My life has turned 360 after what has happened at home. Things at home have turned for the better and I pray that it remains that way. Though the uncertainties still exist, my family and I are making the best out of each and everyday. We all need to be mentally prepared and strong to face the challenges which will be ahead of us.

My heart felt appreciation to all my friends who showed concern as well as to accommodate me in one way or another.

After so much that has happened, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. For example, me having IA during this semester and me not being able to go to Germany for internship.

For now, my life maybe mundane but every moment spent is really worthwhile and precious to me.

12:19 AM

Thursday, April 10, 2008