I wish...

...I was DEAD.

...I didn't have to go through all these suffering and pain.

.Falling Apart.

I'm at my wits' end. I've never felt so stupid before. I'm studying Engineering but i'm beginning to hate Physics more & more each day. I don't know how to do the tutorials & my exams are coming in one week's time. I've never felt such tremendous stress & pressure in my entire life. I'm torned & falling apart. I really dunno whether i can pull through this. I'm lagging behind by so much that i don't think i can even catch up. I've burst into tears so many times, pulling my hair in agony. I really had to blog this down, though i know i'm wasting my precious time away. I'm drowning, sinking deeper into the black hole. My energy & fighting spirit have all been sucked away. I'm as dead as a corpse.

.Suffocated.

Jus got back from Road Relay training, it almost took my life. But i endured & it got better towards the end. It was a vertical marathon challenge i tell ya, climbing steps from B5 to Level 5. I almost wanted to throw up the instant noodles that i had prior to the training.

I'm having a quiz tmr & i have yet to touch anything on it. Wonder how i'm gonna survive. Maybe study till 6am like wat i did for my Econs quiz? I surely hope not. By the way, that was how hard i studied for a quiz, even though i studied that module before during my JC days. Life in varsity is really tough, i'm really exhausted from all the studying.

It's like after every quiz, there's always another one coming up. I can't even take a breather. Sometimes taking a nap or using my laptop for a little while, makes me feel so guilty. I have to force myself to carry on jus to keep up with school work. Sometimes i jus feel like giving up, seriously. I'm lacking of sleep & my brain is really drained. I'm dead worried abt exams, which is not very faraway. Argh! I'm really very stressed up inside.

I feel suffocated, like there's no space for me to breathe. I don't understand fully what i'm studying even though how i hard i tried to read my notes. I can spend half a day thinking abt how to do 1 question from my tutorials. I dunno whether i can pull through this, everything seems so out of reach.

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