.Crush.
Having a crush on somebody is definitely an exciting feeling, & for most people, it lasts for only a short period of time. But for me, i guess it lasted longer than expected. Like wat my friends tell me, it's no longer a crush, but an infatuation. Is it really é case? I really have no idea. But i think i'm quite a devoted person, to have a crush on somebody for that long, to be exact, around 2 years. Normally people will move on, but for me, i always prayed that i wld meet her someday.

é last time i saw her was during Prom, where i plucked up courage to take a picture wth her, even though i knew she had a boyfriend. I wasn't really saddened by it, since her boyfriend was really quite good in terms of character & appearance (he was somebody i knew of). I was nowhere in comparison. Nevertheless, taking a photo with her was a form of memory for me.

Ever since then, i was hoping that i could meet her on é streets, jus to have a glance at her. Jus a glance could make me a happy man. Really true. After such a long period of time, i thought if i saw her again, nothing wld happen. Just a "Hi-Bye" & that's it, nothing else, no feelings, no emotions. But i was wrong.

Until recently, i was é happiest man on earth, i was on all smiles, grinning from ear to ear, until my mouth was like totally numb. That's because my chance came along unexpectedly. Along é streets i was walking & i saw a familiar figure. I thought it was jus somebody who managed to catch my eye, someone who looked like her. After a few glances, i was stunned, cauz it was indeed her. My heart was racing & my mind went blank. Totally.

I thought my friends knew who she was & wld definitely made fun of me, but they didn't quite remember, hence i jus kept quiet. While they were busy looking at é items on display, i couldn't help but steal a few more glances at her. Till she manage to look at my direction, i jus waved at her & bid goodbye since we were abt to leave. She gave me a smile that i could still remember till now, a very sweet & pleasant one, é same one as when i saw her in junior college. é funny thing was, my heart actually pumped faster at that moment, which meant that é crush has lasted till now. It was racing, a feeling which i've never felt in a long time & it was é same person that made it raced. Amazing.

é whole day i felt i was on cloud 9, smiling everytime i thought abt é incident. Even when my friends made fun of me, i jus smiled & relented, no arguing back. I really wanted to go back to have a little chat with her, to find out where she's studying & how she's doing etc. Which i did, yesterday. When i walked passed é stall & thought i didn't see her, i was a little disappointed. I was still glad though, that i manage to see her on é streets after such a long time, it was enough to make me feel delighted, happy, excited & wat have you. Fortunately, my friend saw her & told me that it was her, which made me extremely happy.

We made a trip back, & i really wanted to strike up a conversation wth her, but she was busy then. Instd, we left & shopped around. My mind was telling me to grab é opportunity all é time, otherwise i wld regret. But i was afraid & shy at é same time. However, i really really wanted to give it a try, which i felt quite weird since i really have no idea where i got é guts from. I mean for my type of character, i don't think i wld do such a thing, but apparently, my instincts told me otherwise. We made a trip back & after much considerations (a very long wait, i must say), it was either to do it or regret my entire life not tryin. Well, i decided to go with é former, to do it.

I was really nervous while talking to her, but her friendliness manage to calm me down a little. She was very chatty, which i didn't quite expect, since i thought i might be a total stranger to her. It was afterall quite a long time since é last meeting. I manage to dig a little more information & towards é end, i threw all my guts out to ask for something which i felt was important. When i asked é question, her response wasn't too good since she was quite reluctant, though she was still smiling & laughing. I was too, trying my best not to show my disappointment, to assure her that it was prefectly fine if she didn't want to, that i meant no harmful intentions & that i jus purely wanted to be friends.

Through my perserverence, it paid off. I was really surprised since her lips were like moving towards saying "Sorry, no...". I was totally prepared for disappointment. I mean it's totally understandable if a girl refuses to. But one thing was for sure, i didn't regretted striking up a conversation wth her. I wld have regretted my entire life if i didn't. Hence, irregardless of wat her response was, i was kind of prepared for é worst. Well, i was actually really happy to be able to see her on é streets, seriously speaking. I know it sounds a little absurd, but it's really true. That is how i feel man. Seeing her from afar was already something big, but striking up a conversation & you-know-wat, it was totally unexpected & far-fetched, which i managed to do.

I don't know wat to expect, but i guess nature will lead it's way. I don't wanna rush into things nor frighten her. I'm prepared for é worst, seriously. I mean what can a nobody expect out of someone? Nothing. Well, i'm jus glad that i tried for now, nothing else matters, even wat comes out of it. Really.