.Shallow & Superficial.
I feel like a himbo, jus that i'm not good looking. My knowledge is shallow & all i know is looks, my own that is. I'm not like those people who can jus pretend that nothing ever happened, when in fact all is shown on � outer appearance. What i meant was, they can be themselves, ignoring wat others say abt them, but for me, i can never be myself, i always yearn to be someone else. I'm constantly conscious of what becomes of me & how others view me. Ain't that superficial enough?
I keep asking myself why am i like that & why do i have to be like that? Everytime i look at myself, i feel demoralised. Everytime i walk on � streets, i don't lift my head up high, instd i look down on � floor. Everytime i feel good, something bad comes along to spoil it all & it happens constantly, which makes it all � more difficult to regain � pride in myself. Friends may not care abt tis, but their constant blabberings sometimes do affect me abit, unintentionally i presume.
I also realise that i'm not specifically good in a certain something, which i feel makes me a normal person. Not saying that i wanna be different but sometimes i jus wanna stand out, you know be unique in some ways? It's my sense of competitiveness stirring up in me. I really love praises but do i really deserve them? If i do get praises after writing tis, ain't that jus sentences to please me?
I'm incoherent, yes i know. I'm jus blabbering, i guess. It's jus once in a long time & it's really nice to jus blurt out things. Pardon me if you are confused here, cauz i'm quite confused too.
