.Bloated.
After a weekend of feasting, my stomach needs some time for digestion. 1st it was high tea session at Equinox. � food wasn't too bad, but not tht great as i'd thought. Nevertheless, � breath taking view from � 70th floor of � Swissotel, more than made up for it. It was a spectacular view i must say, � tall buildings from � CBD area, � Marina area, � blue skies with clouds tht seems so near yet so far, � sea with ships passing & so on...

2nd was at � Australian Outback. I won't really recommend tis restaurant, since � food there isn't tht fantastic, in addition to � poor service. There are definitely other restaurants tht serve better steaks.

Though it's only 2 restaurants tht i had dined in, it's afterall good food, something my family wld like to indulge in once in a while. I guess it's a hobby of Singaporeans in general, to search for places with good food. Afterall, Singapore ain't called a food paradise for nothing.

I miss my group of good pals a lot, i seriously do. It's been eons since i've met them up & i'm wondering why. Last time, we use to meet up every now & then, but now everything seems to be changing. We meet up once every 2 months now instd, or sometimes even lesser. I wonder whether it's becauz they have found new groups of pals to hang out with & are leading their own separate lives or tht they find our group getting boring. Nobody seems to be taking � initiative to organise such gatherings, including me. But i do hve my reason for not doing so, though to many people it may not seem to be valid.

There are many contradicting thoughts in my head, which is really difficult for me to write down why. Sometimes i wish i could put � blame entirely on others, but i can't since usually i would think abt my own flaws & shift some blame to myself. I know tht when it comes to such things, there's no point in putting � blame on a certain someone. But for me, i jus don't wish to be in � wrong.

I really dunno why, but when things happen, eventually i will be � one who's in � wrong & who will be saying "sorry" first. I dunno whether it's becauz of my apologetic character or my low self esteem tht results in tis. There are certainly times where i would feel tht i'm right & wld try to stick to my stand, but in � end, after some self reflections, i felt tht i was in � wrong too & gave in eventually. Most probably becauz of tis nature, i don't wish to pen down certain thoughts of mine jus in case � blame will eventually be pushed frm others to myself. In tht case, i wld be contradicting myself & my stand will not persists anymore.

I really dunno whether i'm making any sense here, but pls pardon me for my poor self-expression. I'm trying my best. There's a sentence which cld summarise everything though: "I think too much, so much so tht i tend to contradict myself."

Mayb i don't make a good friend, mayb i'm jus too petty, mayb i'm not tht friendly as i thought myself to be, mayb i'm not deserving enough, mayb i demand too many things, jus mayb.........