Expenses on � rise!
Darn, think i've been spending quite alot of money last month. It's time for me 2 save up. Though i don't really buy anything, in terms of clothes, games or CDs etc, my expenses are mostly on food & entertainment. Besides, wth � no. of birthdays last month, spent quite alot on prezzies. Not 2 mention � Faye Wong Concert Tickets tht i bought w/o even thinking abt � price of it. Hopefully, it's worth � price, can't wait, so exciting!!!

Been running abt for � past 2 days & today was my day 2 rest & chill at home. Last time i do yearn 2 go out like everyday if possible, but come 2 think abt it, i rather stay at home at times. It's tiring to head out everyday & expenses will rise if i were 2 eat out. Seems like i've grown up, thinking abt � costs & stuff. But i guess it's all part & parcel of it. Sometimes i jus wish tht i'll nvr grow up, in tht case, i will hve less worries. All i wld do is jus 2 play my time away, wth my innocent thoughts & childish behaviours, wth an adult to take care of you. It's � naiveness in adults tht's lost, which makes us wanna be a child all � time. Well mayb when i'm dead, i'll reborn & be able 2 lead a kid's live all over again, like wat Chinese peeps believe in, "Tou2 Tai1 Zhuan3 Shi4". But will tht really be � case?

I so need 2 get a driving license. It's like everyone ard me is getting their licenses & i jus feel so left out. I hve a few friends who got their licenses recently & i was like so envious of them, being able 2 get them on � 1st try. Gals esp seem 2 be able 2 get their licenses on their 1st try, wonder why....(No implied meaning here, jus curious tht's all.) Looking at friends ard you being able 2 drive a car, it's like so "wow". It wld even be "wow" tht you hve a car 2 drive after getting � license, at least 2 me, though ? cost of maintaining ? car & expenses on petrol is quite a turn-off. Well at my age, i don't think i need 2 own a car, jus need 2 get � license when i'm like so free now, esp since i'm a stay out personnel. I know, i know, i'm jus a lazy pig but all these people ard me getting their licenses are really making me motivated 2 go get my license. But � thought of not being able 2 get it on � 1st try jus hinders me, haizzz.....

Hve you ever felt like you are jus playing a supporting role in your clique of pals? Well tht's wat i'm feeling now actually. I was nvr � main character in my entire life, i'm jus � supporting actor who helps � lead 2 shine & stand out amongst � crowd. Or mayb i'm less of a supporting actor, more of an extra on � set, � ones whom directors don't usually emphasize on. � ones who are not really important in a film, � ones whom doesn't hve any lines 2 say. I feel like someone who's needed only when others can't seem 2 find anyone. For eg. when going out, i'm only called when � rest are not free 2 go out wth. Or when i happen 2 meet some pals, they wld naturally ask abt � main character in � clique.

Besides my clique of pals, i do experience tht at work too. I jus feel so extra at times tht you don't even need me there at all. My presence there doesn't seem 2 be a point of concern. Well i tried 2 be useful there, but it seems like there are others tht are more useful, resourceful & capable than me. I guess there's always someone better than you, tht is something i can't deny. Mayb i'm really tht lousy, jus tht i don't realise it. Mayb it's time for me 2 wake up. Like wat i said, i was nvr � main character, i'm jus an extra. I guess my presence on Earth is jus for others 2 use me. Once they are done wth it, they jus leave me & when � need arises, they'll come 2 look for me again.

I hate this feeling, � feeling of being used....