Disgusted
I am absolutely disgusted with myself right now. I feel like this horrible poisonous alien/demon, tht has a contagious disease. I never seem 2 be able 2 recover frm tis disease, which is at it's terminal stage, i presume. I really dunno how 2 face tis world right now, jus feel like hiding myself in a corner. Don't even feel like going anywhere, even 2 camp, at tis state i'm in. Frm � looks of it, it sounds like i'm superficial but i really can't tolerate people who are gonna notice it sooner or later. I hve a gut feeling tht they'll feel disgusted wth me as well.
I really hate myself for being like tht. Why can't i jus be a normal person? Why must i carry tis disease wth me all � time? Is there really no cure for it? How long must i suffer frm humiliation? I detest myself so much right now, tht i can almost kill myself. Why must it be me???
Because of tis, i feel so inferior right now, tht my confidence lvl is practically zero. I envy all my frens so much frm not having tis disease of mine. Whenever i go out wth them, i jus feel so sad, so embarrassed, so yucky, so shitified etc. I really feel like hiding, so as not 2 make a fool out of myself. It's very demoralising, so much so tht i might nvr wanna go out wth my pals again. I feel so shitified right now.
