Have you ever...
thought abt wat will happen when you die? I hve been thinking all these while abt it but it's really beyond my imagination. Was watching � 7pm TV Serial on Ch 8, where � mum's soul still lingers on earth, which got me thinking abt life after death. I knw i shldn't be thinking abt tis, but sometimes i can't help but wonder abt it. Frm � looks of it, it seems like i do think too far. Nevertheless, i really ponder whether i'll still linger on earth in this invisible form, still being able 2 think, talk, walk ard or shld i say float ard etc. What will happen after my death? Will � world be really tht cyber as wat most futuristic films tend 2 suggest? Will Mars be � alternative place 2 live in? � questions are neverending, but being a curious human, it's natural for me 2 seek for answers. Sometimes you hafta admit tht imaginations do go a little wild but it allows you 2 put your mind off certain things.

Ever walk past � underpasses in Orchard Rd or jus along � streets of it & notice � no. of people performing for money or jus sitting there, waiting for people 2 give them some money? Ever hve someone, who aren't crippled in any way, who doesn't seem 2 hve any physical disabilities, ask you for some money 2 buy food etc? Will you take out some money frm your pockets & be so charitable as 2 donate 2 them? Well if they are crippled, blind or hve any physical abilities, i think it's alright 2 donate some money. But if they are able-bodied, i really don't see any reason in giving them money, or 2 say it in a less mean tone, "donate" to them. I mean they are jus like any normal people, who are able 2 walk, who are jus able 2 do almost anything. So why are they going ard 2 ask for money, when instd they can jus look for a job 2 earn their own income. Even if it's a low income job, it's still a source of income, & it's definitely better than getting money from anybody. I know by saying this, it makes me sound like i'm a miser but wat i said, did make some sense.

Talking abt donations, was watching � NKF Charity Show on Ch 8 & i wondered, are � artistes faking their stunts? I mean let's not talk abt those very obvious, truthful stunts, like Fann Wong, Christopher Lee, Qi Yuwu etc. But for example Zoe Tay's stunt, it's really very fake. In addition 2 tht, they are actors/actresses, so they can really act as if their in pain or it's really very strenuous tht kind of thing. It's something tht i do doubt abt, everytime i watch � show.

One thing tht is real is � pain tht � kidney patients go through. Looking at their arms, i can't help but sympathise wth them. I really can't imagine myself having those needles injected into my skin for 3-4 times a week. My eyes start 2 tear everytime i watch those short clips abt kidney patients. It's really touching & in some ways, it makes me feel alot for them. Honestly speaking, i did try 2 avoid watching those clips, cauz i feel it's not really good 2 be watching � excruciating pain, � struggles, � sadness, each kidney patient has 2 go through. On � other hand, if they don't show it on TV, we'll nvr knw how much they hafta go through. Something i learnt frm tis show, is tht how fortunate i am 2 be healthy, 2 be able 2 hve food & clothes, 2 be able 2 hve family members & friends who care for me & many many more. I shldn't be taking all these for granted cauz it's something tht i'm lucky 2 be able 2 hve as compared 2 many out there. It makes me feel bad abt me being choosy on food, throwing away leftovers unnecessarily, going for branded stuffs most of � time, spending money w/o a thought at times, etc. It really makes me feel bad. I guess it's time for me 2 do something abt it.

On a side note, received � Faye Wong's Concert tics frm my Aunt jus now, am really very excited abt it. I know i've said tis many times, but it's really a rare opportunity. Jus can't wait for tht day 2 arrive, jus can't wait....

11:18 PM

Monday, April 19, 2004