Confused
There are many things tht are going on in my life which I hve not put down into words, into this neglected blog of mine. It�s either I don�t hve the mood 2 or I�m too lazy 2 do it, as usual. But if hafta give a reason this time round, it wld be � former.

I dunno where 2 start frm but I still hafta say sth 2 begin with. Well, currently I�m being pulled in many directions, wth regards 2 my future NS life. Imagine all my limbs are being pulled in four different directions, w/o anyone willing 2 let go of me. Don�t get me wrong abt me showing off here, cauz I don�t hve � mood 2, neither am I of such a person. It�s jus tht there are many places which I can choose 2 go 2, but I�m confused as 2 which one I shld choose.

One is some sort of like a prestigious appointment, where not everybody can become of. It�s like a secretary of a boss, a personal assistant. It�s a position tht deals wth high ranking officers, sth which I definitely am not up to. � benefits are tht you don�t hafta perform guard duties, COS/CDO duties, ability 2 come 2 camp later than most people & sometimes leaving early or not. � bad thing is, you�ll hafta adapt 2 a new environment all over again & kinda separated frm campmates tht I�m close 2. It�s like you won�t be spending as much time wth your campmates, if I were 2 take up tht position. I wld spend more time in � office instd & mayb only during lunch time wld I be able 2 join them. Tht�s one thing I�m afraid of, afraid tht � bonds tht I�ve made wth my campmates wld be broken. Yeah I knw, I don�t hve 2 be wth them 24/7 in order for things 2 remain as they are, but it�s gonna be different in some ways or another. I�m gonna lose contact wth wat�s happening in � grp.

Another place tht I can go 2, is somewhere within � workshop still, but instd of repairing wpns, I�d be dealing wth paper work. It�s like a Sony customer svs centre, where � front desk processes � data of your damaged discman before passing it 2 � technicians 2 repair. � place I�m referring 2 is sth like � front desk, where you deal wth customers & process � datas. You�d be in a air-conditioned environment, away frm � grease & carbon tht I normally come in touch wth. � good thing: No need 2 worry abt wat I�m gonna do when there�s no wpns 2 repair, like my current situation. Able 2 get out of camp for factory trips, which sometimes take an entire day. It�s a form of escape frm � changes tht are taking place in � workshop, in � sense tht these changes do not affect me directly if I�m gonna head in there. In addition, I won�t be separated frm my campmates, as compared 2 if I were 2 head up 2 be � personal assistant. � bad thing: There�s tonnes of paper work 2 be done, as I�ve heard. I might slack even more & become a couch potato cauz afterall, sitting in an office doing paper work is not sth tht I wanna do.

� last place wld be 2 remain in � section tht I�m in now, but 2 head into � office & replace � current section clerk. Yeah it�s still gonna be paper work but I wld be able 2 head out 2 work on wpns when my paper work is done. � good thing: No need 2 adapt 2 a new environment again. � bad thing: Directly affected by � changes tht are taking place. � possibility of being attached out 2 other units or mayb even posting out. When there�s really nothing 2 do, they expect you 2 find sth 2 do, which 2 me is ridiculous.

With all these choices, I�m kinda confused as 2 which one 2 choose. I hvn�t really mention all � good & bad things abt each & every one of these choices, jus merely those important ones. Mayb I�ve already made � decision but there are more or less doubts as 2 whether my decision is a wise one. I�m too tired 2 think abt it & sometimes I really hope I don�t hafta think abt it. I wish tht fate can lead me 2 my decision but it�s not really possible. I�d hafta make tht decision eventually. We�ll see, we�ll see.