Problems...
I shld still be in � 'Chinese New Year' mood at tis point of time, but things doesn't seem 2 be going right in my life. I'm facing a problem at home, something which upsets me alot, which makes me feel hurt, which i'm not proud of. � problem actually existed ever since my Mum got married 2 my Dad, it only worsened recently. Guess you peeps already knw wat problem it is. Well tis problem is wat i call "� In Laws Conflict". It's btwn my Grandma & my Mum, sth which i don't quite understand till now, sth which happens 2 othr families (i dare say). Becauz of tis problem, my Aunt had 2 be dragged into tis scene & resulting in her being mad & upset.

It all happens when they are living under � same roof, when differences in their characters & their way of doing things leads 2 conflicts or unhappiness btwn each othr. There's not a particular someone tht cld be blamed for � presence of tis conflict, each of them did play a part in causing � conflict itself. There's really alot of things i wld like 2 say in tis entry, but i hve no idea where 2 begin. Mayb i shld jus start of wth my views of these 3 women in my family....

My Grandma is quite a troublesome person, 2 be honest. If things doesn't go her way, she'll complain abt it non-stop. She criticises at each & everything tht my Mum does, a one reason why she can't get alg wth my Mum. She's also a very stubborn person, a person whose thoughts are difficult 2 change. Tht's where her traditional thoughts come in, where it shows how inflexible she is 2 changes ard her. It's difficult 2 inject new things into her mind, she rejects them & prefers 2 do it � traditional way. Due 2 her character, there are bound 2 be clashes btwn my Mum & her. Wat my Mum can't tolerate of her is tht she's fussy & criticises at every single little thing tht my Mum does. As long as there's a deviation frm her method of doing things, my Grandma's mouth wld turn into a machine gun & complain non-stop. If i were my Mum, i don't think i wld be able 2 tolerate it as well.

My Mum is just more modern in her thoughts as compared 2 my Grandma. You can really see her trying 2 conform 2 my Grandma, trying 2 do things her way as much as she can. H/e, if my Grandma is 2 overboard wth her demands & criticisms, my Mum will get pretty upset abt it & grumble 2 us or my Dad abt it in Mandarin, some sort of like backstabbing my Grandma since she doesn't knw how 2 speak Mandarin. My Mum wld then ignore her & start saying things like "You don't knw your Grandma mehz, she's always like tht one. Everything i do doesn't seem 2 please her at all.". It's pretty sad 2 hear such things coming out of her, shows how bad � situation is.

As for my Aunt, she's like � middleman, trying her best 2 make both sides understand each othr's situation, so as 2 reduce � intensity of � conflict. � difficulty lies wth my Grandma, who sometimes refuse 2 give way or is too stubborn 2 do so. My Aunt sometimes loses her temper & shouts at her (my Grandma has hearing problems as well), which i feel is quite an unfilial thing to do. H/e after seeing how stubborn my Grandma cld get & how my Aunt still constantly shows her concern for my Grandma in little ways after shouting at her, i don't think she's unfilial at all. My Aunt has a weird temper, sth tht i must mention. I guess it's � pressure at work & � current problem she's facing at home tht's causing her 2 be in such a state. Try imagining having 3 of these people living under � same roof.

As for � problem, it all happened recently, when my Grandma became more lazy, when she started 2 dpd totally on my Mum in terms of housework. H/e, as � family needed another source of income (since only my Dad & Aunt were working after my Mum stopped working) & tht she cldn't really tolerate staying at home 2 look after my Grandma (since she has been working ever since i was young), my Mum decided 2 look for a job 2 get away frm � house as well as 2 provide income for � family. But after my Mum started working, my Grandma fell ill more often as compared 2 last time. My Grandma didn't really recover frm her illnesses even till now cauz she didn't really take � medicine she was given. She kept asking us why there are so many medicine, when in � 1st place she was � one who requested us 2 bring her 2 � doctor & it was her who told � doctor all � illnesses tht she had. I mean it's reasonable tht � doctor wld give tht amt of medicine since she told � doctor tht no. of illnesses. You can't expect 2 hve a medicine for all illnesses right? In addition 2 tis, my Grandma also expects 2 eat � medicine only once, after which one will recover fully frm it. Isn't tht ridiculous?

It's tis ridicule tht results in my Aunt shouting at her, losing her temper & losing slp cauz of her concern for my Grandma. On � othr hand, she has work related problems as well, adding more burden to herself. My Mum has already given up hope on my Grandma, washing her hands of everything, ignoring her totally. I also dunno whether � illnesses tht my Grandma has are all made up, all in � mind or whether it's becauz she has grown so reliant on my Mum during tis period tht she feels very lonely at home making her feel sick or whether her age is catching up wth her etc. All Grandma does is give a very black face 2 my Aunt everytime she's back, complaining 2 her time & again abt her illnesses. Imagine you are already so stressed out at work & you hafta face all this when you come home, won't you feel like bursting out? Tht was wat happened 2dy 2 my Aunt which frightens me, shocked me & made me realise wat's wrong wth her recently. (She hasn't been talking 2 anybody at home, looking very agitated as well as very upset abt sth.) She cldn't take it anymore, she burst out & cried during dinner time. (My Grandma complained tht her mouth was bitter & tht she didn't feel like eating anything.) She said 2 me:"Do you knw tht your Mum has been ignoring her. Wat do you think she(Grandma) feels abt it? Didn't you notice tht ever since your Mum went 2 work, she(Grandma) has been ill? Did you knw tht i even hve 2 beg your Bro, & i mean beg him 2 bring her(Grandma) to see � doctor?" These words really made me feel useless & bad abt everything. It's like i hvn't done my part as a son. All i knw is 2 eat & buy things, like a rich brat who think tht money is easy 2 come by. I didn't knw i was such a guy up till now, till tis problem made me realise how useless & unfilial a son i am.

I hve no idea wat 2 do now, really at a loss. I'm in no position 2 say anything at all or rather i don't knw wat 2 say. I don't knw wat 2 say 2 my Aunt right now, neither can i persuade my Grandma 2 stop being childish. I really dunno whether 2 be angry wth my Grandma or 2 sympathise wth her. Angry for being so stubborn, for complaining so much. Sympathise wth her cauz she always get shouted by my Aunt, whenever my Aunt loses her temper or can't stand my Grandma's attitude. I've heard of other people having family problems but i really didn't expect 2 hve one myself. I knw it mayb a small problem 2 some of you but 2 me, it's pretty big cauz i'm not tht strong. I was speechless & afraid when my Aunt bursted out during dinner. I jus continued consuming my dinner, not knwing wat 2 say. I hate people quarrelling, makes me feel responsible for it. Or am i responsible for tis problem afterall? I really hve no idea.....

P/S: Pls pardon me if i sound incoherent in tis entry or it doesn't make any sense at all, cauz i really don't knw where 2 start nor how 2 express myself at tis moment in time.
*There are some minor changes in tis entry tht i did today(270104).